Sarah St Vincent Welch #258 Will I too (inspired by Self Portrait poems of Red Cone and KS)

will I too, feign surprise at calls, as if we hadn’t talked forever,

when it was only yesterday we spoke, maybe I won't remember

will I lose my heart to bitterness

oh you

I want to pick up threads and dropped stitches

keep making myself

weave a nest in my chest

future portrait

I imagine you with every death, that I might attain you,

scar and crackle, whisper of charcoal willow on paper

bundle of sticks and string

some things improve some get worse

I only fear pain or not knowing how to bear it

not learning how to